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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Eighteen

Sometimes on the boys birthday, I'm overcome with sadness. Mother's Day can be like this, too. It's a mourning of sorts, for all of the things that they as kids with autism are unable to do. I remember ages 10, 13 and 16 being like this. Sixteen was especially hard. With Taylor just 2 years older and having experienced his sixteenth birthday with all the normal things like getting his driver's license, dating, high school sports, etc., the contrast of Harry finally being able to speak his name was too stark and hard. As their birthday approached, I felt like it might be another milestone birthday that felt more sad than happy. Eighteen is voting, graduation and as Taylor reminded me...able to buy cigarettes. LOL. No, he doesn't smoke, but we were having fun listing the privileges associated with the age.
But last week something new happened. The boys have never anticipated a birthday before. Sure they know the song, the candle blowing and presents when it's right in front of them. But last week The Mister and I happened to be discussing birthday gift ideas and Spencer walked through the kitchen and heard us. His eyes got big and he turned to us with a knowing look. I said, "Next week is your birthday! Do you want presents?" He nodded. :) Just that simple improvement did my heart a lot of good. Then yesterday as I baked their cake, they hung around the kitchen and became more and more interested as they saw the train taking shape.
I told them this morning that after school we would have cake and presents and they bounded through the front door this afternoon and swarmed the house looking for wrapped gifts. Of course it didn't take long at all for them to find them. LOL. So, I guess all this rambling is to say that their happiness, excitement and anticipation for their big day made me smile.
Afterall, we have survived much in the last 18 years.
They are wonderful, happy and loving boys.
And they belong to me.
I love that.

64 comments:

  1. I don't even have any of my usual wisecracks. That was a stirring post, Betsy.

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  2. Who are you and what have you done with Silver? ha.

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  3. Oh, him? I just stranded him in one of my stories!

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  4. What a great collage of pictures! That was a really touching post and I'm glad you had a special blessing on this day.

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  5. Betsy, HUGS to you! Give the boys a hug and kiss from me and tell them Happy Birthday! Your post was very touching. I haven't been on alot lately--so miss reading your post. Staying with my great aunt at night and work during the day.

    Lana

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  6. ... a little misty eyed right now.

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  7. Glad you had that added joy and had a wonderful day. I had to snicker a bit though at you baking that great looking cake and them just looking at it and not eating it, so reminded me of my quirks..haha

    Oh and come next year they can cross the border up this way and legally buy alcohol. There's one to add to the list..haha

    P.S. I think it's contagious my rhyming wisecracks are gone.

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  8. @Pat: You know, if you and I aren't careful, people might start thinking that we're both human.

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  9. Helen ~ awwww..you KNOW how I feel, don't you? xo

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  10. Betsy, Your boys are so fortunate to have an amazing Mother like you. I know life is challenging, but I know too that it has been filled with great joy, happiness, and love--what more is there! Happy Birthday to them and congratulations to you on having a house and home filled with love, laughter, and warmth. You have something so special--something that so many others long for. Mickie :)

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  11. Nothing clever to say here either...thinking about you, your boys and the love that pours from your posts. Happy Birthday guys! Good job, well done, mom. (o:

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  12. Happy Birthday to your boys!

    Being the little sister, I never stopped to think that milestone birthdays might bring an element of sadness to my parent's hearts and minds. My brother turned 50 the year before my father's passing.

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I'm glad they made you smile today. (I was wondering where you were.)

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  13. Pat ~ WTD? You didn't rhyme either? What's up with my favorite wisecracking guys tonight? lol.
    Can you drink at 19 up there? Well, as long as there isn't any red dye in it, I guess that's fine. hahaha.
    So, you blow out candles and say no thank you to a piece, too? I should have known!

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  14. Martha ~ I had the busiest day..had 15 gift baskets to shop and made, along with birthday gifts. And an auction tomorrow! Then I'm crashing. lol....

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  15. Sigh. Yeah. Such a poignant post!
    So glad for your blessing - - we should be as appreciative and alert for our rainbows behind the clouds . . . May God's blessing rest on you for your angelic care of them!
    Cindy

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  16. yay! you are an awesome mom! happy birthday boys!!! you warmed my heart sis...

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  17. aw, and you made my eyes water. lol.

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  18. You, The Mister, and Taylor have given the boys the best life, full of love and awesome care.
    I think it's great that the boys were so excited and showed you.
    Happy! Happy! Happy birthday Spencer, Harry and Alex.

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  19. Yep can drink at nineteen up here
    Guess the cold lets us have our beer
    And yeah blew them out and that was that
    Not even at 5 was cake eaten by pat
    There we go back to form
    As I rhyme in the norm

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  20. aww, thats so so sweet,, I'm not typing anymore ,, tears in the way,, beautiful mum you are.

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  21. Oh so precious. I have to agree with the person who said You, the Mister, and Taylor make a wonderful home and life for the boys.

    Happy Birthday Boys!!!! Love the cake!

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  22. It's late, I'm just now reading your post and wanted to wish the boys a happy, happy birthday !!
    You are the most special of mums, caring to a fault, I think all of your five men know they have an angel on earth admist them everyday.
    Love your train cake....
    ~Jo

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  23. awwww, this was so beautiful that I could feel my heart smile..;j Love the photos and the cake, great job mom!

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  24. I could say that the case of sniffles I've just had reading your post dear Betsy is due to a bad case of Down Under Spring hayfever, but I'd be fibbing. 3 special boys with an even more special Mum....Happy 18th Birthdays to the Wonder Boys.
    Millie xxx

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  25. A Very Happy 18th Birthday to Spencer, Alex and Harry!!!

    And to their amazing Mom?

    B eloved
    E xtraordinary
    T reasure
    S elfless
    Y ou

    Love and hugs,
    Suzanne xox

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  26. Hi Betsy .. congratulations to the three 18 year olds on the 18th .. what a wonderful tribute and sight of their birthday .. that's great you're still seeing improvements and they're providing happiness for you all ..

    With a big hug or perhaps a few more .. and love to you all Happy Birthday everyone .. Hilary

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  27. Happy Birthday wishes to the boys.

    Moving forward with many changes continuing to happen is such a cool thing, truly amazing.

    Little steps today are leaps and bounds from years ago.

    So glad that you all had a blessed day and that the boys had a train cake. Lots of love on the tracks of life.

    God bless.

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  28. Happy happy happy happy birthday to your beautiful Spencer!!! Love the pics and the joy emanating from each shot!! Wonderful!! Take care
    x

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  29. This was a loving post Betsy.From all of the words posted I can tell it was extremely heartfelt.What can I say you know I always thought of you as the person who can do anything,and believe me raising these boys is 6 times harder than anything I ever went through in my life.God Bless you and them and I hope they had a wonderful birthday and many more to come.Give them each a hug!

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  30. Happy Birthday boys!! 18? Wow! And the train cake turned out super!
    Great pic montage!'
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  31. Hugs Betsy, hugs to you!!!

    The boys look so happy about that wonderful cake. You're the best mom!

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  32. How can these guys be 18? WOW! You are an amazing mother! After reading your posts, I could slap myself for feeling sorry for myself somedays. You put a whole new meaning to superhero! God knows who His strongest children are, and He trusted you with a whole lot!!!!! :) Happy birthday to the boys!

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  33. oh, my, imagine when all of those boys bring home girlfriends and wives, you will have five daughters all of a sudden :))

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  34. AND...what amazing and wonderful boys they are Betsy!!!! I remember their birth as if it were yesterday!

    Happy HAPPY birthday to the guys! I will tell them so when I am at school today! (even though belated!)

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  35. Betsy, it is so hard to believe that your boys are 18...where do the years go?

    You put together a great collage of pictures.

    Very touching post. I just know in their minds they are saying that you belong to them!!!

    Happy Birthday to the triplets!!

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  36. I can relate to this, Betsy. You are so right. They are such wonderful boys!!

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  37. That birthday cake is amazing, Betsy. The boys look so happy because they have the best mom in the world!

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  38. We used to have an autistic boy in our school and he was extremely intelligent.
    Of course he had his days like every one does but all in all he was a pretty nice kid.
    With three boys you need a lot of patience and for this you get 100%.
    Your boys are blessed to have such a wonderful Mom.

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  39. Made me misty eyed too. Happy late birthday to your young men.

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  40. Oh, I'm teary. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  41. awww, happy birthday to the triplets and to you for being such a wonderful mom giving birth to them and all the TLC you've given for 18 years.

    you did a great job on the train cake too.

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  42. WOW!!! what a great post. 18 already.. wishing them the happiest of birthdays. Before I know it my guy will be there, but for now him being 10 is all I can handle:) They have a wonderful caring mom!!

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  43. Beautiful post, Betsy.

    And, I love the cake you made! What a thoughtful, creative, wonderful mom you are!

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  44. Suza ~ aw...what a nice acrostic. Thanks, dear. xo

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  45. Jackie ~ thank you! I know..hard to believe it's been 18 years. Where does the time go?

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  46. Aw, thanks dear Millie. I cry, too, sometimes but I think I'm just tired. ha.

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  47. Dodi ~ 10 is my very favorite age for a boy. :)

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  48. And thanks to all of you for your very sweet comments here! Thanks for the birthday wishes and encouragement to me, personally. It really means so very much. xo

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  49. You and the boys deserve every bit of it. It's a crime to be unappreciated.

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  50. Yes, a little misty eye what a touching post.Your boy's have an awesome mom. Happy Birthday!!!

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  51. This made me emotional and I only know you from the blogosphere. Wishing a very happy birthday to your boys.

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  52. Betsy I love the cake, Happy birthday to the boys!!LOL
    Always I think you are a lovely and awesome Mom, LOL gloria

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  53. Happy Birthday to your three wonderful boys!! Sorry it's a little late.

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  54. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! BOYS!!!
    ALL THE BEST WISHES AND BLESSINGS SENT YOUR WAY!!!!

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  55. Happy Birthday Boys!!! Hugs to you and your sweet family!

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  56. They look so much more grown up all of a sudden! Please give each a big hug for me... Happy Birthday Betsy's boys!

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  57. I thought only one of your boys is autistic! I'm glad they had such a wonderful time and were excited about their birthday. They're blessed to have such a caring mother.

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  58. Happy belated birthday to Spencer, Harry and Alex! Life is different for them but still valuable and enjoyable, and you all have given them so much love.

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  59. it warms my heart that you got to enjoy these moments. while I understand your worries, think that such kids have fallen into worst hands than yours. just be glad that, since these were meant to be, they were given the best life you could give. that's more than many can say.
    you learn something, they learn something.
    :)~
    HUGZ

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  60. Tickle ~ wow..thank you. Just about to sign off for the night and that was such a sweet comment to end that with! xo

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  61. I love that...and I love the way you make mothering an art form. Thanks for leading us by example!

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  62. Happy birthday to you,
    Happy birthday to you,
    Happy birthday to you and you and you....
    Happy birthday tooooo youuuuu!

    Hugs,
    Janeen

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