Summer Camp Part 3

The boys getting on the bus in the morning.

Today was the third day of summer camp and the boys were once again 

happy to go and still happy when they returned! 
 Since they can't talk, I  have no idea what happened in between the departure and arrival,

 but I'm assuming it was good!

I wanted to share just a little more about the first day when I was 

there with the boys.  I've shared the good...the lovely facility,

the nice bus with kind old men for drivers and an aide, the

staff, which I like very much and that the boys were assigned

the class that we had requested...the one with talkative

people, fun, and more interaction.

And I shared the ugly...the violent boy and the 'almost' encounter

between me and him in the men's restroom!

The 'bad' that I had in mind doesn't seem so bad now, but it

might be something that becomes a problem or a positive!

The teacher is aware and they are keeping an eye on the

situation!  That first day, we had only been in the room about

15 minutes and we were sitting at a table chatting, looking around

at the others there in the class and just taking it all in.

As most of you know, my boys love trains.  Almost everything 

they do during a day has to do with them, whether that is 

looking at a book, watching a DVD, printing pictures of them

or looking at them on youtube or some where else on the internet.

They even have CD's of music and songs about trains!

As we sat there in the class, a familiar voice on recording started

playing in the background along with the sound of a train

at full steam.  For a second it didn't even register with me since

it's just a part of life at our house and I can just about tune them

out since they are a constant. lol...  But then it dawned on me

that I was really hearing this at the day camp!

I asked the teacher if there was a video of trains playing.

And she said, "Oh, yes..that's Caesar over there in the corner!

He loves trains and plays those videos all day and looks at his train

books!"  Well, all three boys jumped up to go see Caesar!

He was sitting at a desk in the corner of the room.

He looked to be about 50 years old...grey hair at least.

She got a little worried and went over to make sure everything

was ok.  She said that he really wouldn't want to share or

be bothered and might raise his hand to hit someone if they tried

to get too close!  But my boys just stood beside him and looked

at the video and he didn't really seem to mind.  I explained that

they loved trains and that's when she pulled out the documentary

that I mentioned before and put it up on the big screen.

The computer belongs to Caesar personally and that is what he

does all day...sits there and does his train stuff.  She said that

I could bring one in for my boys, or even a small DVD player and

have them do the same, but I declined.  Sure, my boys would love

that, but they can do that at home!  The purpose of camp is to

be social, have some new experiences and interact with a new

environment and all of that. 

 Caesar never did seem upset

and at one point of the morning I glanced over and it was only

Harry there beside him.  And they were holding hands! haha.

Now at my house, the boys only do that if they don't want you to do 

something like turn off a DVD or rewind it.  They will hold your hand

  in a death grip so you can't mess with the video!  So, I'm not sure if

Harry was telling Caesar not to change the DVD or if it was Caesar

telling Harry not to touch his computer! haha.

Then for a good hour, Spencer sat just off to the side and wouldn't 

do anything else.  I told his teacher that I was sure he was waiting

for a turn on that computer!   But of course, that isn't going to come,

so Spencer will have to learn that.  Spencer does love his trains

and computers!  And he does love to be in charge!  So time will tell

on what happens with Caesar and his train corner.

I fully expected my boys to try to scoot him off his chair and

take over the computer and that it would be a problem every day!

But I think maybe the trains playing on the big screen will

be a really nice substitute!  And I think that they helped the

first day seem fun and comfortable for the boys.

What a nice surprise!  And who knows...maybe Caesar

will think it's fun to have others in the class pay attention to

him and share a love of trains.  I hope a miracle happens

and a friendship is formed.  :)

And that ends my long winded camp posts.

Yay!  I told my friend Nan, who ran into me at the grocery today

that I've had enough drama in the last month!  I'm ready

to post something boring like photos of flowers! hahaha.

Thanks for listening...and thanks for all your words of wisdom

and prayers.  They are much appreciated!

xo

Summer Camp Part 2

Here's Alex about 3 minutes after he got home this afternoon.

He plopped down in front of his laptop to chill out.

His expression is a little intense, but he can look like that a lot,

 even if happy.  What I noticed was that his fingers were crossed.

His little body language that there's a some anxiety going on.

A few minutes later he galloped through the house,

shrieking like a wild Indian.*  And then, after letting off that

steam, getting a snack and a cold drink, he was all smiles. :)

I wanted to share a little more about yesterday.

Back when we took our tours, we visited all the rooms.

Each is categorized according to disability and the severity of it.

There were three rooms for people with autism and one for

Downs Syndrome.  The three for autism looked incredibly boring for

our guys.  I didn't notice any people that were verbal and many of them

looked overly medicated...sleeping or laying their head down.

One room was for the more violet, with padded partitions surrounding

each person and they were corralled in their work stations with

an aide on the other side of the desk from them.  The talked in

extremely quiet voices, obviously not to upset anyone.

Some young men were big...several hundred pounds and over 6

feet tall.  You could just tell they were very cautious about us

even stepping into the room.  We made sure and requested that

out boys not be put into there! ha.  And actually the room with

mostly Downs Syndrome young adults looked like the most fun.

They sing, dance, play Wii, and all kinds of activities.

So, that is where they were placed.  There is much more

interaction there and I think it's a good fit.  Not all of them

are verbal.  And several are in wheel chairs.

I like the instructor in this room very much.  She's a lovely middle aged blond, 

very sweet and gentle and conscientious.  As we talked during the

day, she told me that she takes in stray animals and was almost 

embarrassed to admit that she had 10 cats, some birds, turtles and

a couple of pet cows. haha.  So, of course we had something in

common right off the bat.  :)  "Only 10 cats?", I asked her!  haha.

 The aides were great, too...one man

and one woman...probably 60ish and really good with the class.

But there was some ugly parts...one I'll share.  Mid morning I took

Spencer down the hall to show him where the bathroom was.

Since this isn't school and they are adults, they are allowed to go

when they want and alone.  He went into the men's room and I waited 

in the hall, a couple feet from the restroom door.  After a minute,

a loud, violet young man, probably the same age as my boys, came

bounding down the hall.  He gave the middle finger to all that were in the cafeteria

 through the windows across from us and slammed the men's restroom door

 open and went in.  Well, he looked like he was about to explode!

I hadn't had to confront an irrational and violent person 

since my repo girl days.  haha. But my boy was in there and I didn't

 care if it was the men's restroom or not! 

 I didn't hesitate one second and took two steps toward

the door as I heard him slam a stall door.  But he came back out, almost

running into me as I was going in!  He beat his fists on the

cafeteria windows and finally a teacher and aide came to get him.

Spencer came out and seemed completely oblivious to the whole

situation and we made our way back to his classroom, walking past

the two staff members and the angry kid.  I made sure they saw

that we were going to walk by, so we would be safe and I

put myself between them and Spencer. Geesh!

I told our instructor when we got back in to the room what had happened.

What's the point of requesting not to be in the room with the violent

ones if they are allowed to roam the halls and go into the bathrooms

without an escort?  She totally agreed and called the administration

right away and told them what had happened.

So, just for that reason alone, I was glad I had been there and

could call that to someone's attention!

Part 3 will have to wait....

I want to share with you about Caesar and his train stuff. 

I thought on Monday that this was the 'bad' of the

good, bad and ugly but we will just have to see 

what comes of it.  More tomorrow! :)

♥

*  Is it OK not to be PC if we are part Cherokee?  haha.

The Start of Summer Camp Part 1

Well, today was the first day of summer camp!

Some of you may remember that I got a call earlier in the spring from

the local Developmental Disabilities center saying that they had

three spots left for summer camp for young adults and wanted to offer

 them to our boys.  So we filled out what seemed like a mountain of paper

 work and got physicals from our doctor.  The Mister and I took a

 tour of the facility and then I took the boys back for another tour and

consultation.  After feeling good about the place, we accepted the spots.

I told them that since this was the first completely new venue for our boys

since kindergarten, I wanted to come with them the first day,

 including riding the bus that was going to pick them up!  They said that was fine, 

so this morning we got picked up and were on our way.

I've sat here staring at my computer for a good 20 minutes trying to 

decide how much I should ramble on about all of my thoughts here.

This is a really big deal for us!  

 The boys have attended the same 

school K-12, just 1 block from our home.  They have always known the

same kids, same building, same bus, and the teacher/aide turnover

was very low.  One aide was there all 13 years!  I personally know

the principal, the school administer and several school board members

and teachers.  It's a nice, quiet, small public school and I felt

the boys were very safe there.

We know a family in town that sent their son out of state to a

home for disabled people after graduation.  He had some mental retardation

 but could function quite well for himself

 and he could talk and communicate well.  He loved

the place and did very well for the first year or so, but

things started unravelling and it took quite a while before he finally

broke down and told his parents that one of the staff had been

sexually abusing him for over a year.  He has never recovered,

turning to rage and tantrums.  Anger, fueled with adrenaline, and

gaining a couple hundred pounds made him 

him very powerful and dangerous.  This happened probably 10

years ago and he is still being bounced from group home to group

home.  It's such a tragedy and a ruined life that haunts me.

Even though he isn't my child, I watched him grow up and

think how if this happened to him...who could talk...how much easier

 it would be for one of my boys to be abused and I might never know!

I expressed my concern to a few people over the last month and

most people said, "Oh, but you would know if it happened because

your boys would act differently... become introverted or upset." 

 Hmm....but that would mean it already happened!  

Not good enough!  Geesh!

So that is the concern that I've had!

I waver between keeping them home where they are safe,

sound and happy and letting them get out and experience life

in a broader way.  

Anyway, back to today....I insisted on coming with them the first

day and riding the bus...and they were very agreeable to that.

The boys were happy to see their friend Heather on the bus.

She was in their high school class.  She said she was especially

happy to see Harry.  haha.  Kim, looks like you have some 

competition.  haha.   We liked the bus driver

and the aide...both older gentlemen who were helpful and sweet.

They were thoughtful and asked really good questions about the 

boys. The driver even pulled out an umbrella and walked 

me into the building so I wouldn't get wet in the rain. :)

What happened the rest of the day can be categorized as good,

bad and ugly.  ha. But the good was 90% of the time I spent there,

so I don't want to give you the wrong impression. 

The boys came home all smiles!

I have to say I was totally exhausted when I got home.

(I left them with 3 hours remaining in their day and let them ride the

bus home without me.)  I cried my eyes out, sobbing in a towel,

when I got home. So not like me...not sure if it was just the pins

and needles I was on all day, sheer exhaustion in explaining

three non-verbal kids to aides, teachers, bus drivers, etc.

Or maybe it was just that every once in a while, the 

sadness of having a child with a disability is overwhelming.

You mourn for what will never be.  And even though I look on the

bright side most of the time, it does strike me as sad the things they

will never do or understand and the things they must go through.

And the responsibility I feel for their welfare is overwhelming.

 So, good, bad and ugly... I've decided to share it all...

mainly because I have other parents with kids with autism

who read my blog.  We need to connect with each other

 and keep it real, sharing the nitty gritty as well as the good.

And since this is already as long as one of Pat's rhymes,

I'm going to call it Part 1 and continue tomorrow. :)

The photos above are all that I could take.

I wasn't allowed to take any photos that showed other

students without their parent's permission.

So we have some of the bus ride and then a few 

of them sitting in their room.  And then one with a

train documentary playing on the big screen.

Yeah, that was a wonderful surprise! :)

♥