Eighteen

Sometimes on the boys birthday, I'm overcome with sadness. Mother's Day can be like this, too. It's a mourning of sorts, for all of the things that they as kids with autism are unable to do. I remember ages 10, 13 and 16 being like this. Sixteen was especially hard. With Taylor just 2 years older and having experienced his sixteenth birthday with all the normal things like getting his driver's license, dating, high school sports, etc., the contrast of Harry finally being able to speak his name was too stark and hard. As their birthday approached, I felt like it might be another milestone birthday that felt more sad than happy. Eighteen is voting, graduation and as Taylor reminded me...able to buy cigarettes. LOL. No, he doesn't smoke, but we were having fun listing the privileges associated with the age.

But last week something new happened. The boys have never anticipated a birthday before. Sure they know the song, the candle blowing and presents when it's right in front of them. But last week The Mister and I happened to be discussing birthday gift ideas and Spencer walked through the kitchen and heard us. His eyes got big and he turned to us with a knowing look. I said, "Next week is your birthday! Do you want presents?" He nodded. :) Just that simple improvement did my heart a lot of good. Then yesterday as I baked their cake, they hung around the kitchen and became more and more interested as they saw the train taking shape.

I told them this morning that after school we would have cake and presents and they bounded through the front door this afternoon and swarmed the house looking for wrapped gifts. Of course it didn't take long at all for them to find them. LOL. So, I guess all this rambling is to say that their happiness, excitement and anticipation for their big day made me smile.

Afterall, we have survived much in the last 18 years.

They are wonderful, happy and loving boys.

And they belong to me.

I love that.

♥