Thursday, April 28, 2011

Lost In Translation

Having non-verbal kids makes it hard to communicate at
times. I'm pretty good at figuring out what our boys want
and can tell by their body language if something isn't
just right. But for the last week I've been stumped when
I would tie Harry's shoes each morning and he would
stand there like something was wrong. He would stick
his foot out and point to it like something bothered him.
Several days in a row I checked for a rock, twisted sock
toenails that needed trimmed, cut on his foot...anything
that could be bothering him. Everything seemed fine!
One day I checked his shoe and he stuck out the other one
to be fixed, too! After messing with both shoes for the 3rd
or 4th day, I said, "Harry, there's nothing wrong! You
just have to wear them." He reached down and pulled
the hem of his pants down OVER his shoe laces!
"Are you kidding me?" I said, "Why didn't you just
do that yourself the first time!?"
I guess showing your laces isn't cool. ha.
Some things aren't as difficult to figure out. Like when
Harry dug in my desk drawer and brought me a pair of
scissors. "Do you want me to cut something?" I asked.
He took both hands to the sides of his head and shook
his hands, making an exasperated expression. Oh!
You need a hair cut? "Oy" he says. (his 'yes')
So I complied. And I agree...it does look better! And Harry looks happier, too!


  1. You must be the greatest mother in the world. It makes me proud of know you through cyberspace. Blessings

  2. He looks fantastic with his hair cut and I love the hands on the hips;-) Although it is so interesting at times trying to figure out our non-verbal kids' requests, I do love it when we get to the end of it and have it figured out and it is something that shows so much of their personalities. Who knew you should not have your laces showing?? ;-)You are such a fantastic mom!

  3. Ahhh, you are such a special mama! :D

  4. I echo the others - you are a wonderful Mom! Glad you figured that one out - and the haircut looks great too!

  5. Heather ~ yes, who knew?! lol...oh dear. And I was worried about sending him off to school with something wrong and hurting. Good grief! hahaha

  6. You are such a great mom. It takes a lot of patience to try and decipher their thoughts! Harry does look happy with his haircuts.

  7. Sounds like you and Harry have a good communication system, even though it's slow sometimes :-)

    Some of the special-needs children (two and three years old) I work with are non-verbal, and it's a bit challenging for me to figure out what they're trying to tell me.

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Looks like you really have your work cut out for you
    Figuring out what they want you to do
    Never knew it wasn't good to have your laces showing
    As I've had them that way coming and going
    Hair cut looks better too
    Looks like he's now impressed with you

  10. I am nothing like you. I can't do it. My son is verbal and I STILL can't understand him. Anything I say makes him bite himself and scream at me. My husband won't allow me to speak to him. I am ... I wish I was like you. Patient, willing, ... able. I'm not.

  11. Aw, happygirl, that sounds hard! I always say life would be so much easier if they could talk. Wouldn't want the screaming or biting, though, lol...although Alex can send me across the room if he cares to and has before. Drugs are our friends. Took us years to tweak to everyone's needs but they are healthier and happier with them. How old is your son?

  12. You have the patience of Job. And the skills of a hollywood hair stylist.

  13. Pat ~ it was warm enough for the boys to wear shorts to school today. I'm glad Harry didn't decide he still wanted the hem to cover his laces. lol...

  14. Matty ~ haha...a necessary combination in my resume. lol...

  15. What is it about shoelaces.

    My grandson want one green and one white, in fact the shoes came that way...Jon will not wear long pants, summer or winter..says they hurt. They can verbalize with me, but they still have some strange ideas and ways...kids...gotta love them all. The haircut looks great...so you barber too. (smile)

    I've said it many times before, but will add my praise for the special family you have and how your and your hubby raise these wonderful boys.

  16. I love seeing them and hearing the stories!

  17. you have a tough job betsy but do it well...i think the haircut does look nice..smiles.

  18. haha..Brian...you would have given him a mohawk though!

  19. Bless your sweet heart! I'm so proud to know you also! I was just thinking today about you and wondering if your boys have ever learned sign language? A few of our grandkids used signs when they were very young and it was great. Blessings on you each day for being such a phenomenal mom! Thank you for sharing your life...

  20. Marsha ~ they do know a few signs. Their speech therapist went a different route with them over the years. They just started with some signs this year.

  21. your patience is commendable...as are you hair styling skills! I don't know how you do it but then again what other option is there? Love the last photo...what a charmer..;j

  22. All I can say Betsy is that you know them so well. I'd be flabbergasted if I had to second guess my kids all the time. Nice hair and yes, jeans over the shoe tongue.

  23. You are an outstanding mother. I am sure this was one of the few times you didn't understand one of your boys...you seem very 'in tune' with them.

    Love the haircut!


  24. Harry just wants to look cool and with his new haircut he certainly does!

  25. You are the most wonderful mother, full of patience and love. I makes me smile to know there are those like you out there! :-)

  26. Oh, I just love this! He looks very handsome :)

  27. I can related so much with this post. :)

    Tell Harry he looks mighty handsome with him new hair cut for me.

  28. WEll, Harry looks happier, true, but personally, I think he looks far betteer with a shaggy head--more relaxed that way. :)

    Funny about the laces and there iw as thinking it was that one shoe was dirtier than the other. Well i do have to agree with Harry that for those type of bottoms, the laces should not show. LOL.

  29. Hi! Betsy...
    Someone once said, that a picture is worth a thousand words...?!?
    Well, at any rate your explanation about Harry's dilemmas and the photographs are..."priceless!"

    Betsy, I have to second the other commenter's comments you, are a great mother too!
    Thanks, for sharing!
    DeeDee ;-D

  30. Well, thanks, everybody. You are all so kind! I wasn't really looking for compliments on my mothering skills. Just letting you see how it can be with nonverbal autism, the attempts at interpretation and how funny they can be at times. :)

  31. I don't know how you do it! And still find time to send people really cute pictures you've drawn of birds. Yay! I got mail. Thank you!

  32. Aww, Tracey! I promised it to you last summer! ha. Glad it got there safely! :)

  33. SO FUNNY!
    Think he is a TIDY boy! I like that!

  34. add another talent to your list ...mind reader!! he looks happy after the haircut!


I'm serving coffee! Stay and chat!
And no awards, please! Your comments are my awards!