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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Alex


Well, we had a little trouble with Alex on the bus yesterday.
During the afternoon I got an email from his teacher that
he had been given an UIR (unusual incident report) regarding
Alex.  It seems he is fine on the bus until he gets close to home
and then starts acting out.  When the aide
tries to help him with his seat belt, he grabs the
aide's shirt and yells.  This had happened several times
in the last week!  The teacher asked if I might know
what the problem was.  haha...I always love that question.
Me, who is not there to witness anything, might know?
I'm pretty good at reading the minds of my autistic boys
when I am with them...but not from miles away. ha.
No, of course I didn't and it didn't make sense that Alex was
happy once inside the house and happy to go back the next
day!  But I did stand on the porch yesterday afternoon
to see if I might be needed and to talk to the aide, too.

Spencer and Harry got off like they usually do.
Alex didn't come off, so I walked down the driveway to see
what was going on.  The aide said he started banging his head
on the window about a mile away and continued to become 
increasingly irritated as they went along.  He wasn't
too keen about going near him to release his seat belt anymore!
I asked if I could get on the bus and help.  He was happy
to let me.  I walked back to Alex's seat and gave him my
'mom look' and said, "Unbuckle that seat belt and get off
this bus!"  He immediately pushed the seat belt button and
walked off the bus as calm as could be!  LOL!
The aide (an older man) said, "Well I told Alex that I was
going to have to tell his mother if he didn't calm down, and
he was silent after that!"

We agreed that I would watch again this afternoon and
come help the aide if Alex misbehaved again.
This morning before he left, I told Alex that he better be
good on the bus.  He's nonverbal, and didn't answer, of 
course.  But he did give me an understanding look.
And this afternoon, I waited as all three came off the bus
together....and the aide gave me a thumbs up!

I guess it goes to show you that mom's have the power
to instill the fear of obedience in their kids.
At least this time, I did.  :)
And if you happen to think of Alex during the next
few afternoons, say a little prayer for him, won't you?
I hope his acting out is done for good!



73 comments:

  1. Glad you were able to solve this problem so easily. Prayers for a
    Alex sent : )

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    1. thanks, cat....I hope that was the end of it! ha.

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  2. Hey...I'm first two days I n a row!

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    1. Why, so you are! There should be a prize for that! ha.

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  3. Most of us never would know the issues you deal with every day. So glad THIS wasn't an every day occurrence. You are the super mom and yes. I tried to say out loud your voice as you told Alex to take off his seat belt and get out of the bus. I sure I didn't sound like you, but so want to relate to your life. I truly will say prayers for Alex that is was just a passing fancy. Love and Hugs

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    1. Well, I bet you've given the 'mom look' before! haha. Thanks for the prayers...and hugs. :)

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  4. I think I want to join Alex and bang my head against a wall or something. This last month or so has been crazy out here. Flash floods, fires, Santa Ana winds at hurricane force. Broken pipes under our cement slab that the house sits on, flooded floors and on top of that insurance won't pay for any of it. Something to do with pipe maintenance, I am still trying to figure out how we are supposed to maintain the pipes under the cement slab. Also been sick with a cold that has moved into my lungs. Internet working when it wants to but mostly not working.

    Sorry I missed your birthday celebration, so I want to send you a belated "Happy Birthday" and loved the cat video. Wish we had those beautiful fall colors but we are still in the 80's and 90's out here and running our A/C every day.

    It is good to see that "Mom's" still hold all the power. I would definitely do what you tell me to do. Actually I think it is a good sign that he understood exactly what you told him and knew that he had to behave or else. Also to really do what you said is another good sign. Children of all ages try to misbehave and when they behave it is a great feeling. You are a great Mom and I am sending prayers your way for Alex and you. I will even say one for the aide.

    God bless.

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    1. My goodness! What an ordeal you've had! I hope things calm down there...maybe you should move to Ohio. :)

      Thanks for praying...and for the aide, too! He's such a nice man. I felt bad we caused him any stress!

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  5. I guess it will remain a mystery as to why he was so upset on the bus. There had to be a reason. Oh well, it's good that you were able to get him back on track. It's good to know that he listens to you!

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    1. I did ask the aide to make a note if it happens again, exactly where they are in route, who is near Alex, and what is going on outside. That could clue us in a lot as to what the problem was. I may be something as simple as they drive by a McDonald's and he wants to go to the drive-thru for fries! haha. But hopefully, it was a passing thing and now that he knows he was in trouble, he will give it up. I was relieved to see him walk off the bus and get that thumbs up! If the cycle is broken, maybe he won't go back to it. Let's hope!

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  6. will do for sure, so many mysteries with Autistic children, I supose you will never know what prompted this acting out, my daughter told me that today in the teachers letter to her , ( to inform her how gracie did at school on this day) said that she transitioned from outside to inside activities better today, she usually acts out when she has to go inside from play time, the aide sang a song Gracie likes and distracted her enough to get her inside, everyday a challenge, I hope all goes well tomorrow but will keep him in my prayers, as well as gracie as always,

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    1. transitions are always the hardest! Smart aide your Gracie has...a little distraction can go a long way!

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  7. Yes...I hope the acting out on the bus forever gone. My daughter has had many bus situations with her Alex...so hard when they can't tell you what is upsetting them. But, clearly, you have some awesome mom power going on! A prayer, definitely.

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    1. We haven't had a bus issue in many years, but when the boys were in grade school, we had several. One year in particular was really bad. They had a very mean bus driver that yelled non-stop at the kids. Alex sat right behind her and one day he had finally had enough and reached up and snatched her by the hair on the back of her head. When I got a call about it, I knew exactly why he had done it. haha...and I couldn't say that I blamed him for that one. lol.... Buses are hard...they are crowded and loud...it's sensory overload! Has your daughter thought of trying a sound cancelling headset? They can be a lifesaver...our Alex wears his constantly. The other two, rarely...but they did Friday night when we were in a noisy restaurant. Just a thought....

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    2. Yes, exactly...sensory overload. Thanks for the sound cancelling headset suggestion. I will pass that on to my daughter.

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    3. She can find them at Lowes. They are near the power tools. I just get the cheapest ones...you don't want them to block out all sound...just muffle it a little.

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  8. The Mom look and voice isn't something to be messed with as it's a God given talent. I pray for the boys everyday when I click over to read. I'll pray that Alex is able to work through whatever it is that has made him uncomfortable on the ride home. I can't imagine how hard it is to try and read them when they are sick or upset and not able to tell you. But with 20-years experience I bet you've gotten really good at it. *hugs*

    JaG

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    1. a God given talent...I do agree. haha. Thanks for praying...you're sweet. :)

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  9. Omy! Of course is difficult to you now what happens! thanks God you can fix and always I think Betsy what difficult to know what they think and can help:))you are amazing dear!

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    1. Hopefully that won't happen again! ha.

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  10. Poor Alex and poor you! Maybe he enjoys his day so much he doesn't want to come home?

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    1. Well, he's a homebody, so I seriously doubt that...wish he could talk and tell us!

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  11. I love it...the "mom look"! It never seemed to work for me though. Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

    XO,
    Jane

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    1. Maybe you didn't make it scary enough! hahaha....you're just too cute and sweet! :)

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  12. Glad you were able to give a glare
    And it was fixed at your lair
    Hope the acting out is through
    Maybe he just wanted to ride the bus with you

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    1. I refuse to ride the bus
      so he might continue to fuss!
      lol....
      maybe he wants to be grounded and stay home
      so all day the frig he can roam.
      hahaha...

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    2. haha good plan indeed
      Stay home all day at your feed

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    3. like his mother, such a hermit
      stay home all day and watch kermit.
      haha.

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  13. Chalk up another one for Mom........YEAH!!!
    I notice in your side bar, that you had sweet and sour chicken....sounds yummy!!!
    I also brought a few geraniums in tonight...
    We haven't hit the freezing mark yet...but just to be on the safe side!!!
    Back outside tomorrow!!!

    Glad it all worked out for you.....AND Alex!!

    Cheers!
    Linda :o)
    ps.....no admirer tonight?!

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    1. I didn't realize it was going below freezing last night! Nothing froze..the pots up close to the house probably didn't get that cold. I did bring in a fern and a little potted rose bush this evening. Wish I could save all of them! ha...but we'd be living in a jungle all winter.

      admirer? what admirer? haha! shhh!

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    2. ok.......moms the word.....you didn't hear anything from me.....what admirer???....nope....my lips are sealed....:o)

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    3. maybe he'll go away if he doesn't get any attention. :)

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  14. Prayers for you and Alex. We Moms do have the power ;)

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    1. I hope my look sticks with him...haha...

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  15. I want to say something but I don't know what it is.
    :0)

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    1. Are you in LALA LAND again?

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    2. It's ok...are you disagreeing with something I said/did? You can say it here...all's fair and up for debate.

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    3. Linda, probably. (ha ha)
      Betsy, no, no disagreement at all.
      Sometimes my mind flashes back to days with my brother and I get a very vivid picture of what you are going through.
      My sister takes Mom to visit Tim every other week and there have been times when he misbehaved so badly (crying, slapping himself) that she turned around and took him right back home without ever getting him that coveted Frosty.
      I admire your love and devotion to your boys.

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  16. Good job Mom! And I'll be praying for him.

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    1. thanks, mari! :) I can feel all those prayers!

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  17. ha. moms def hold the power.
    been calling home on the kids on my case load.
    i know better than to ask for dad.
    smiles.

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    1. lol...I hope they were nice to you. :)

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  18. Oh Betsy...yet another day in the lives of your five men. =) Thankful to know 'the look' still has power and meaning. I'm sure this is frustrating, and you can be sure I'll be praying about this and trust the problem will be resolved soon. Thanks for being transparent and sharing.

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    1. well, thanks for always caring and praying, too! I knew I could count on my big, loving, blog family! :)

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  19. I'm not a Mum, I have no idea what you are going through, and cannot pretend to Betsy, but know that I wish that you are able to handle it as best as you can and that Alex does not have this difficulty again. I will certainly send up some thoughts for you both. That I can do. xx

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    1. that's all I'm asking for...thanks, dear :)

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  20. I have friends with autistic children and I have always admired the parents for being so faithful to their children.

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    1. oh, I think our hearts just grow bigger as the difficulties grow! ha.

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  21. I love how his aides couldn't do anything to convince him to stop acting out apart from you, the fear of you instantly made him just get back to normal. I hope that continues for now, it's concerning, interesting it happens every time he's set to come home, I can't help feeling like, I have no idea, definitely a weird one, hopefully it's all over!

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    1. yep...nothing like getting in trouble with mom! haha.

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  22. Your sweet Alex will be in my prayers, Betsy. blessings ~ tanna

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    1. thanks, tanna.....I'm really hoping he does well again today!

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  23. Praying for Alex and for you too, Betsy. I'm sure it's frustrating for you to not know just what's causing his anxiety. I'm hoping things continue to go well and there are no more issues.

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    1. thanks, dawn....if he's good today, maybe the problem has passed. I'll have my fingers crossed and prayers going up for sure around 3:45. ha.

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  24. Just saw on your side bar that you're getting snow -- yikes!! It's headed our way for tomorrow and Friday but won't be quite cold enough for it to stick.

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    1. Yeah, it's beautiful coming down~ It won't stick here, either, but made the roof tops white. It's turn to rain as soon as I leave for the grocery. ha.

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  25. I hope Alex is able to get off the bus this evening.

    My child was diagnosed ADHD when she was 2 years old. Shortly, after coming to our home at 6 1/2 years, we began working on routines, etc. to reduce the meds she was taking. By the time she was eleven, she was on 10 mg. of medicine. Now that she is thirteen, she is not on meds. She does struggle with peer relations. As a family, we continue to help her overcome her issues.

    .

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    1. I think social skills are one of the biggest hurdles! Good for your daughter and good for you for caring for her. Our boys still take medication. They benefit so much from it...I haven't tried to wean them off of the stuff that really makes their quality of life so much better.

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  26. Your blog is an honest, no nonsense look at what must be an overwhelming and lifelong challenge. your love for your children, your humor and your assessments protect and encourage them. I'll say that prayer not only for Alex but for you and your husband as well.

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    1. thanks, cali....I appreciate your words her a lot. :)

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  27. Dear Betsy, thank you for being honest here. I would be honored to pray for Alex. Though we know each other only through our blogs, we care about the families we see and get to know about through pictures and posts (I think I have been following your blog for 4 years?) The "mom" look, glad it still works with the guys....hugs to you too.

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    1. blogging is great, isn't it? :) thanks, anita!

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  28. "Testing" is a part of growing up!
    That's why the "mom-look" was developed and passed on down.
    Prayers help, too!

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    1. I need to teach the aide the 'mom look'. haha.

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  29. Betsy,
    Not knowing what Alex is thinking must be ever so challenging for you.
    My thoughts will be with you both while you sort this out.
    Mary

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    1. thanks, mary! He seems to be over whatever the problem was!

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  30. You are an amazing mother. Mother always knows best.

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  31. Hi Betsy .. I sure will - I often think of you all .. but I'm so pleased 'Mom power' and 'Mom love' work .. with thoughts .. Hilary

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