Friday, May 23, 2008

Does God Have a Sense of Humor?

A while back, my sister, Willow, sent me this story.
I don't think she will mind me sharing it with you.
It is just hilarious, so if you need a good laugh, read on!
Shopping at Dillard's
Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully
gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot.
Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell.
What business could that poor kitty have had here?"
murmured Ellen. "Come on, Ellen, let's just go..."
But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping
bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag,
and then I'll take the tissue."
She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag
and then used the tissue paper to cradle
and lower the former feline into her own
Dillard's bag and cover it. They continued the short trek
to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk.
But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's
burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the TEXAS sunshine
while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose
that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag
on top of the trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria.
After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table,
they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the trunk.
BUT not for long! As they ate, they noticed a black-haired
woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car,
look quickly this way and that, and then hook the Dillard's bag
without breaking stride. She quickly walked
out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other
a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast
that neither of them could think how to respond.
"Can you imagine?" finally sputtered Ellen.
"The nerve of that woman!"Kay sympathized with Ellen,
but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought
about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin,
she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.
Following her gaze, Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired
woman with the Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm,
brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.
Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the register,
the woman settled at a table across from theirs,
put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.
After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans,
she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure.
Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt
audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue
paper and peered into the bag. Her eyes widened,
and she began to make a sort of gasping noise.
The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor,
wheezing and clutching her upper chest.
The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized
a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911,
while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay,
who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes
until the ambulance arrived.In a matter of minutes
the black-haired woman emerged from the crowd,
still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney.
Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance,
while a third scooped up her belongings.
The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared behind
the ambulance doors, the Dillard's bag perched on her stomach!!
Sometimes, God does take care of those who do bad things!
(AND once in awhile, He allows us to witness it.)


  1. You are my hero - still. I think of your comments you left on my blog and I forgot how hectic your summer will probably be! You are the true "ironmom" and its people like you who inspire me to make sure our forum Spectrum of Promise helps families like yours. I am so glad you reached me through the blog. I hope to keep in touch. By the way, what do you do for your tiplet's birthday? We are going to celebrate each child's birhtday on a separate day the week of their birthday.

  2. Jennifer ~ thanks for the comments...and thanks for the great work on your forum. I'm anxious to see that you can accomplish through it in the future! We've always celebrated one big party on their exact birth day. Sometimes I have one big cake and sometimes each a seperate one. They share everything and open each others presents. There really isn't any kind of desire on their part to have any thing different than that. Your kiddo's birthday must be coming up soon? I'll have to stayed tuned for the celebration bloggins. :D

  3. My goodness! Oh my! Is this a true story?!

  4. Lavinia ~ as far as I know, it is true. I tried to do a little research and find out. I checked it out on truthorfiction.com but they didn't have a record. Very funny either way...

  5. I'm back to blogging! ;) With tons of laundry to do today. I really missed popping in on all my peeps!

    Yes, wasn't this the funniest story? :D

  6. Oh Betsy...this story is priceless! Don't you just love it..:)I suppose it is true...your sins WILL find you out....

  7. Willow ~ yes, hilarious even the second time around! :)

  8. Deedee ~ yes, so true! And I kinda wish there was another chapter so we could know what happened next! ha-ha!

  9. Oh the justice!! That's hilarious! BTW, I love the pic of your foxgloves. They are really beautiful.

  10. Here is the article at Snopes.com

  11. Annon ~ thanks for the info. Like I said, either way, it's hilarious!

  12. Bet she never takes another bag left on the back of a car! lol

  13. Stevie ~ lol ~ no, I suppose she has learned her lesson!


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