Graduation Ceremonies Accommodating Students With Disabilities

Two things I never do.  Write long posts or rant.
Here I've done both.  Tomorrow the short and sweet
will resume.  But for now, grab a cup of coffee.
And thanks for taking the time...

Harry, helping Spencer model his graduation cap

In the middle of all the fun celebrations this month, I've had some

 heartache.  Parents of disabled children learn from the beginning

 that some people can be caring and loving and some not so much!

It's just part of the journey, and you learn that early on.

But when someone close to your kids does something,

 it can really throw you for a loop.  (Now that is a really strange expression, isn't it?  

Throw you for a loop?  Sounds like a 'Fun With

Words' post in the making...stay tuned! ha.)

 I got a call from someone at school about  graduation. 
  She said that she and the principal thought that the

  boys would "be too much of a distraction" to the guests and that

 they wouldn't be sitting with the rest of the graduates on stage

and maybe not be walking  in the processional, either.  
It would better for them to sit separate, down in the main seating.

I was really taken aback during this phone call and tried to clarify who

would be distracted and why.  I'd never heard of anyone at school being

 worried about people being uncomfortable or distracted by disabled

students.  Aren't they usually their advocate? Wanting to educate the

world about acceptance, tolerance and love?  Championing their rights and eager

 to celebrate their lives and accomplishments? 
I clarified again with her if the principal was in agreement.  She said yes!
But she said that any conversations about graduation should come
to her and that she would relay any information to the principal.
But we know the principal personally and it didn't sound like her
at all.  I didn't want to have a knee-jerk reaction, so I waited
and told the family about it over dinner that night.  I was working
an auction later that week and one of my friends who works with
me is also on the school board.  And not only that, she has a
disabled brother that went through our same school system.
Perfect person to ask for advice!

At the auction, I told my friend what had happened.  She said to
let her handle it (after I peeled her off the ceiling. ha).

That night she let all the proper people know what was going on.

The principal called me, the school administrator talked to me and the school board

 let me know... that they were NOT in agreement with any

 such idea!  And news travels fast in our little village...
I heard later that the senior class was about to

start a petition to have our boys participate in graduation

in every way any other student would!  Now that is sweet, isn't it?

Sweet, but sad, that the students were more accepting than an adult?

We as a society have a long way to go if we accept disabled kids only

 if they are kept away from the 'normal' people so that they aren't bothered,

 made uncomfortable or inconvenienced.  The idea that a child with autism might

 make a funny sound or their rocking in their

seat might ruin an event for someone in the audience is a sad one.

But I'm glad to see that the next generation here did not agree, nor

 did the school board or administration.  And I'm really glad my boys

 don't know or feel the hurt that the rest of us in the family feel.

Some people might feel that their graduation isn't quite as important as

 a 'normal' student getting a diploma and venturing off to college.  But

I think that in some ways, my boys' getting through 13 years of school

might be even more of an accomplishment!  You try living with a 

perfectly normal brain that is trapped in a body that won't allow you to

talk or communicate like other people.  With odd sound,

smell, and touch sensitivities that can be overwhelming.  Years of

trying new medicines and weaning out ones that make you feel

worse, weird, or sleepy. Social awkwardness and lack of communication skills

 make it almost impossible to make friends, play sports, and so many

other things!  And if you can do it for 13 years and almost always have a

pleasant attitude, rarely miss a day of school, do your work, try your

hardest and still have a smile on your face, then by golly, your

graduation is probably more of an accomplishment than your classmates!

Because of that, Saturday we're having our boys in their caps and gowns! 
 And with a little direction, they will walk across the stage and get their diplomas.

Because we're proud of them.

Because they deserve it.

Because we love them.

Because getting them through life so far has been hard.

And nobody is going to dampen our celebration!

Remember the boys' graduation open house earlier

this month?  Well, all of this drama happened days before it!

And when I said that the people that came, gave gifts and

hugs and encouragement meant SO much to us, it was

because this was on our minds, too.  And we soaked up

all the love and acceptance and whispers of affirmation

in our ears that no such thing would be allowed to happen.

It made us smile and filled us with hope that the majority

does care. Our boys are accepted, loved and celebrated.

 And we are grateful.

Say a prayer for us Saturday night, won't you?  Thanks, friends! 
I'll take lots of pictures and let you know how it goes!

*****

"We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility.
It's easy to say, 'It's not my child, not my community,
not my world, not my problem.'  Then there are those who
see the need and respond.  I consider those people my heroes."

~Fred Rogers

♥